The Epiphany

OMG, I so had to write this as soon as it hit me. An epiphany like no other for me and I have a few duh moments in life. Anyway, you know how people say Karma is a bitch? Well, I so believe in Karma and have seen it happen. It's happened to me before but nothing like this. 

I'm only 45 but have some health issues that are a constant pain to deal with, literally and figuratively. I have compressed and bulging disks in my lower back, degenerative disk disease, sacroiliac joint dysfunction, GERD, edema, to name a few. 

Okay, on to the epiphany, my grandmother had health issues for as long as I remember. It would get frustrating sometimes because it appeared that she didn't try. She didn't make an effort to walk, to dress, to anything. This all happened while I was growing up so I wasn't privy to all the details. After she passed away, we ended up with some of her medical records and in them I found where the doctor noted as far back as 1976 that they were unable to locate a pedal pulse on her. 

She had heart disease, diabetes, circulation problems, edema, and I don't know what all else. I remember thinking at the time that in 1976 when they couldn't find a pedal pulse, she should have done something about it. Walked or something to get the circulation going into her legs and feet. She spent a lot of times in skilled care for open sores on her legs from the diabetes. I couldn't help but think if her circulation was better it wouldn't have been a problem, or as big of a problem. 

Now, I have problems with edema and have been told that I'm not getting enough oxygen in the blood for circulation in my back. So logically I need to start walking or working out in some way to get the circulation going. With my back in the shape it's in, working out is damned near impossible. Even walking, most days, is a challenge. 

So Karma got me good. I thought my grandmother should have done more and now I'm being shown that doing more can be all but impossible. It's not over yet. I'll figure this out. I have to wonder though when people dislike certain things about parents and grandparents and vow never to be like that. When they turn out like their parents or grandparents, is that Karma showing them how it is?