Okay, there are some things that are too shocking to be able to digest all at once. I know I'm fat and have been for a long time but when I had someone take head to toe pictures of me from front, side and back I was utterly shocked.
Frankly, I am still on the fence about whether or not I'm glad I saw them. Teetering on the precipice of depression; seeing something like that will push you over the edge. I haven't slept well for the past couple of days because of it. Talk about being overwhelmed by the task at hand.
I know I didn't gain all of this in a day, week or month and I know it won't go away quickly but something has to be done. Something other than wishing it away.
These are not pictures I would share. I don't have to guts to put myself out there for the world to see. I will however work toward changing what is captured on camera. I have to. It's not just vanity, it's dangerous healthwise to continue on this way.
I'm not even going to post a weight at this point. First, I haven't been on a scale. Second, my mind couldn't handle knowing the actual number. So, I will have to rely on how clothes fit and how I feel to measure the changes for now.
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